It’s interesting to compare this to the Phantom Menace (1999). It seems that the greater part of the fandom believe this one to be the worst film of the prequel trilogy. And I can certainly see why to be honest…
The lows of this movie are even lower than that of the Phantom Menace. In more than a few scenes, I think many would agree that this is as bad as Star Wars gets (at least in the original six movies). At the same time however…I find myself less inclined to boredom in this film. Also, it boasts some of the most unforgettable set pieces and scene compilations, as George Lucas continues to demonstrate his incredible talent for world-building. For these reasons, I believe it slightly edges out the Phantom Menace (but again, slightly!).
Before I get into it, I’ll just say that I’m still figuring out how to best structure my reviews; I honestly feel like I’m doing something different all the time. Sometimes it will be spoiler free or half spoiler-free half spoilers; sometimes I’ll just go straight into spoilers. They vary in length; some are quite long, and some are barely a page. There will always be a caveat section at the bottom, for those deciding whether or not this is a film for them. Aside from that, I reckon I’ll just do whatever I feel is best for the particular review I’m writing; whatever I’m feeling at the time ya know? When it comes to Attack of the Clones…I really don’t have that much to say as compared with the others.
That said…spoiler warning.
Welp, let’s start with what I think is great in the film. Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan, Ewan McGregor’s Obi-Wan. I said it before and I’ll say it again, he is the best part of these movies. Literally perfect casting decision. And for the most part I actually enjoy his mission in the movie; I mean, who can forget his awesome confrontation with Jango Fett! First on Camino and then in space! So basically, everything to do with Obi Wan and his investigation is a blast. I also thoroughly enjoy Anakin and Padme stumbling around in the droid factory. But that’s well into the movie, everything that comes before for those two is uh…we’ll get to it. Count Dooku also provides us with a formidable foe, played by the late Sir Christopher Lee.
The last act, namely the battle of Geonosis is far more impressive than the climactic battle at the end of the Phantom Menace. Sorry, but getting to see an Army of Jedi take on the droid army (followed by the arrival of the clones) is far more ‘edge of the seat’ then watching Gungans. It is some of the best Star Wars has to offer. However, the lightsaber duel is a little lacklustre in my opinion; that is the duel between Dooku, Anakin and Obi Wan. Not bad by any means, but Maul’s fight in the last movie was far more exhilarating. But hey, we do get to see just how powerful Yoda is! If his lifting an X-Wing out of the swamp in Empire (1980) wasn’t enough for you, you will now know why this little green muppet was the most respected of Jedi masters.
Again, the story as a whole suffers this time around. It’s just far too complicated with too much going on for the runtime of a single film; even a lengthy film. I wonder what other people think, but to me the plot feels like something that would fare far better as a television serial. In fact, it feels like the sort of story that would be told over multiple episodes of the Clone Wars (a show I haven’t seen much of, but enough to get the general gist).
Before I get into more of the movie’s woes, I just briefly want to defend Hayden Christensen as an actor. Now were these good performances? No, they weren’t. And I see people saying that he can’t act. But I’ll say this…I’ve actually watched various scenes of him in other roles, and the guy can do a good job. Perhaps it was because of what he was given to work with. Because let’s be honest here, whilst every character here has at least a few shoddy lines, the character of Anakin Skywalker is by far given the worst blow. 90% of his lines are awful, and it’s not just his lines but his character as well.
He is so unlikeable as a person. He is also super super super duper weird! Seriously! How Padme can possibly fall in love with him is beyond me, judging by the sorts of garbage he’s sprouting here. “You’re exactly the way I remember you in my dreams” he says, with the expectation that such a comment will be received with delight. She even expresses at a point that what he does makes her uncomfortable. Yet, the Jedi council think that he is the best option to watch over her as she journey’s back to Naboo. Who knew that Padme would eventually grow accustomed to creepy Anakin’s unusual wooing methods, to the extent that she confesses his love for him right before they’re about to die (which they don’t…obviously). Come on Padme! I don’t buy it for a minute. The only conceivable explanation is that he used Jedi mind tricks on her; in which case he was never a good bloke to begin with. But no, she genuinely falls in love with him and they marry at the end of the film.
This is a very short review, and I don’t have much to say from the Catholic faith side of things. That’s more or less because it sets the stage for Revenge of the Sith, a review in which there will be many things to talk about…
Verdict
Put simply, nearly everything involving Padme and Anakin is just a disgrace. It is an awful love story; awful. Which is a shame because it’s half the movie, whereas the other half is enjoyable enough. Put them together and what do you get? A mediocre film.
Caveats
· Revealing attire, particularly in the last act
. Sci fi violence
· Gnostic influences